I want to share one of the most beautiful days of my life with all of you. It’s right up there with my own wedding day and the day my babies were born. It’s appropriate to put this on my blog under the “hidden in my heart” posts category because just like Jesus’ mother, Mary, I treasure all these things and will forever ponder them in my heart (Luke 2:19).
Two days ago, Benjamin, my twenty-three year old, oldest son, married the love of his life, Zoe, a beautiful young woman who loves Jesus. He took her two hands in his during the ceremony to pause and lead them in prayer together after braiding a cord of three strands (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Observing that incredible moment when He led Zoe in that symbolic act and in prayer caused me to rejoice with gratitude and praise to the Lord for all that He’s done and continues to do.
There are a few more special moments from the day that I don’t want to forget. Above all, that we are part of Benjamin’s life at this stage is something I treasure most about that day because it was something I once mourned, not knowing if our relationship would ever be restored after very rocky teenage years and even asking him to leave our house to find somewhere else to live when he was eighteen. He wanted nothing to do with us at that time, and I grieved the loss of my son.
During the rehearsal dinner, I was telling our amazing wedding coordinator (a friend from church) that Benjamin built the gorgeous wooden arch that stood at the front of the ceremony. “He’s such a wonderful carpenter,” I beamed. I also shared how precious it is to watch him go from a boy who struggled to turn in his homework and even graduate high school, to someone who works so hard with his own hands building gorgeous, well crafted decks as a crew lead.
Early in the wedding day, after the bridesmaids and mothers got dressed, we were waiting outside the bridal suite for Zoe’s mom to help her into her undergarments and dress. While we waited, Zoe’s mom’s cousin, Kelly, took the opportunity to tell me that she had gotten the privilege of spending some time with Benjamin and Zoe the past few days. “I don’t know him well, but from the time I’ve spent with him, I can see he’s going to make such a good husband and father.” She went on to tell me that Zoe’s father set the bar high, and she would want to marry a godly man who would lead their home in the ways he did. Benjamin would fill his shoes well, by her estimation. My eyes welled up with tears. Sometimes us moms see only the worst or the very best in our kids and it’s hard to distinguish the true reality. Therefore, to hear someone who had only spent a short time with him share this about my son meant so much.
During the reception, Benjamin and I danced to the lullaby, “To the Moon” which I had sung to him as a young baby in front of our church, sitting in a rocking chair with him cradled in my arms. It was an emotional moment for me to dance to that song that evening, especially after sharing a portion of the lullaby lyrics with the wedding guests in an earlier speech and toast. “I love you up to the moon. And I love you big as the sky. You’ll always be my little man. I love you the best that a mama can.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.
I will also treasure every guest that came up to me after the toast and the mother/son dance to tell me how it touched them. Some I knew, some I didn’t. Just before the dance, I gave an emotional speech about being the mother of the groom, giving away my heart, and going from being his number one girl, to his second best girl. I charged all the mothers of boys to cherish the days while their sons are young and still growing. One of Zoe’s guests in particular talked with me toward the end of the evening. “I have two boys,” she shared. They were young, and she was in the throes of motherhood. She was so moved to see our special relationship, she told me. I took the opportunity to tell her it wasn’t always like this. I shared briefly about our rocky years, and how God had restored our very broken relationship, which is something my husband prayed over me many times when I was hurting and full of sorrow for so long. God is faithful, was my message to her as I encouraged her to keep her eyes on Him through every high and low of life raising her sons.
In my earliest years of motherhood, I received THREE ultrasound announcements that it was “a boy!” I had to come to terms that God wanted me to be a boy mom and I would have no daughters of my own. With some disappointment, I gave away the baby girl items after my third baby boy was born, which I had been saving for years. From then until now, I’ve truly anticipated the day I would finally have a girl in the family. As I sat there and did Zoe’s hair on her wedding day, I shared this with her, and told her that one of my disappointments of not having a daughter was not being able to do her hair. I told Zoe that to do her hair on her wedding day was more meaningful to me than she could know.
And one more thing I cannot fail to mention. Zoe and Benjamin accepted my offer to make them French toast before the wedding. We surprised them with a special, romantic patio breakfast at “Resterante De Herrera” (translation: Herrera Restaurante). Table for two? Right this way. Their “first dance” song was playing when they stepped outside (“So This is Love” from Cinderella) and they were seated on the patio furniture under the shade of the umbrella, surrounded by flowers, on the morning of their warm, late spring wedding day. Benjamin’s younger brother was their waiter, and it was a memorable event that will be cherished. On the menu: French toast with homemade bread, scrambled eggs, mixed berries, and coffee/tea.
Before you see all the informal cell phone pictures I took this past weekend, I’ll share my reception speech. I want to document it and remember it forever as a part of this incredibly special and memorable day.
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You might know what this means <hold up Kleenex>. We’ll see if I need it.
Good evening. My name is Jamie. I’m the mother of the handsome groom and the new mother in law of the beautiful bride. What I’m about to share, I adapted from a social media post that went viral written by the mother of a groom, and I made it my own:
You always hear about a girl’s daddy “giving his daughter away” on her wedding day. But mommas give away something too.
I gave away being the one he hugs and kisses
I gave away being the one he looks for in a crowd
I gave away being the first person he turns to when things get tough
I gave away being the one he makes laugh in the middle of the day
I gave away being his number one girl
I gave away my heart
Deep down I know he will always love me but it’s simply wonderful to know he loves her more. That’s how I know he has found the one.
Mommas of boys, love him while you are still the most important girl in his life. It was the biggest blessing of my life to play that role all these years. Sing lullaby’s to him about loving him to the moon, and him always being your little man. Kiss his sweet baby face and linger in those lanky teenage hugs when they allow it. Drive him to school even when he is grumpy and doesn’t say a word to you. Listen when he needs to vent and blow off steam. Sit next to him for every doctor or hospital visit. Soak up every minute under the same roof because it won’t last forever. Love him, forgive him, ask him to forgive you, and commit everything to God’s grace.
Because one day, you will give him away….
You will stand and watch him give his heart to the love of his life. You will dance and he will say the sweetest things about who he has become because of you. He will hug you tight and it will feel a little bit like a goodbye. You will become his second best girl and it will be HARD, but it will be as God designed. A very natural, beautiful thing.
And to you both, Benjamin and Zoe, I’m treasuring this day and all the things in my heart as it concerns what God has done in your lives and what he continues to do. I already shared this with you, but I want to encourage you again to always see marriage as a gift. You already know marriage isn’t easy. But it’s worth sacrificing every day to strengthen and maintain it through continuing to grow for a lifetime into the man and woman God has called you to be to one another. Treasure and cherish the gift of having a companion to share life with, and be that gift to each another through your words and actions. Keep the Lord Jesus Christ the center of your lives, and hold one another tightly, every day, through the hard times and the good. I love you guys so much. Congratulations. You both will hold my heart always.
Here’s to Benjamin and Zoe <raise glass>. Cheers!
