Many tears. The last week has been difficult. For me it has been twofold. The unexpected loss of a friend’s husband, and a senseless act of harm in Newtown to innocent children which has shaken each person in our nation to the core. I am deeply grieving. My eyes flood with tears so easily, but I go to Jesus for comfort. I feel the pain of those around me, and my heart aches for them. I can only pray. Being in the presence of God is the only thing that brings relief from the pain.
There is a tender moment in the life of Jesus that I’m reminded of. The death of Lazarus. He was the brother of Mary, who had wiped Jesus feet with her hair, and the brother of Martha. The sisters go to Jesus and report their brother’s sickness, in hopes that Jesus would respond in the same way he had done to so many others who had come to Him in need of healing.
What was Jesus’ answer to Mary and Martha?
“The sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified.” John 11:4 NKJV
And so Jesus stayed where he was, instead of returning to Lazarus with the sisters.
I imagine that Mary and Martha had to resist feeling bitter when Lazarus breathed his last breath. After all, just days ago they had asked Jesus to restore their brother’s health, but Jesus was seemingly distant.
Jesus arrived after Lazarus had been dead for four days. Upon his arrival, both women express the same heartache by telling Jesus that their brother would not have been dead if Jesus had been there. Bitterness? Yes, I think so.
Jesus knew what was coming. He even tells them their brother will rise again. Jesus knew the miracle of resurrection that was about to take place. If you aren’t familiar with the story, it is in verse 44 of chapter 11 in the book of John that we have the account of Lazarus being raised from the dead by the power of God through this miracle of Jesus.
Even so, upon Jesus arrival at the tomb of Lazarus, he stood among his friends and wept. I believe He wept as a man, experiencing the emotion of the hurt and pain that lingered every minute of the past four days in the hearts of those who loved Lazarus. I believe He also wept as God, full of compassion, taking our sorrow upon Himself.
I’m amazed by the tenderness of His weeping because, again, He knew the glorious event that was just around the corner. Yet, He wept. He grieved. He felt deep sorrow.
His sorrow was not a heart lacking trust. I don’t know about you, but this story releases me and gives me permission to grieve. It gives me permission to hurt. It gives me permission to feel a sorrow that goes deep, all the while trusting that God has something around the corner that I can hope in. His sorrow also gives me comfort knowing that He is feeling my pain. He is feeling the pain right now of a wife and children who have lost a husband and a father. He is feeling the pain of the families in Connecticut who have been robbed by an evil act that killed so many young children and teachers. He is feeling the pain of a hurting city in Newtown. I believe He is grieving too.
When I don’t have answers, I go to His Word.
“Unless your law had been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.” Psalm 119:92 NKJV
When I feel alone, I remember His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
“The Lord surrounds His people.” Psalm 125:2 NKJV
When my sorrow overwhelms me, I am comforted to know that God knows everything I’m feeling. His word tells me that He is the keeper of my tears.
“You number my wanderings, put my tears into your bottle, are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8 NKJV
When I worry about the future, I am reminded that God will care for my today. Jesus pleaded to us with his own words…
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 NIV
When my heart is full of fear, I will choose to trust Him.
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 NLT
When I feel depressed, I remember that all my days were written in His Book before I was born — and He knows me intimately.
“And in your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:16 NKJV
When I don’t feel like going on, I ask for His mercy.
“Let your tender mercies comes to me, that I may live.” Psalm 119:77 NKJV
When my mind overwhelms me, I rely on Him to bring me peace.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
When I don’t know if He is in the midst of my circumstances, I remember that He is my front shield and my rear guard and his hand remains upon me.
“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.” Psalm 139:5 NLT
When my heart has been broken, I remember that God is near to me.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
When I lack faith, I remember that God is faithful, even when I am faithless. He has compassion that won’t let me down, which is made new to me every morning.
“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentation 3:21-23 NIV
When I don’t understand, I come into the presence of the Lord and find understanding.
“When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me–until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I understood…” Psalm 73:16 NKJV
I choose to rest in the arms and under the wing of my Savior-the mender of my hurt. He knows. He loves. He cares.
Lord, as I write this you know that it is with tears flowing down my cheeks. You know my grief. You know my sorrow. You know my pain. Thank you for your comfort. I trust you.
