If you were a little girl who watched Disney princess movies, you will relate to this post. You are probably grown now, and married, like I am. But you still remember what it was like to dream of your prince charming coming to rescue to you, sweep you off your feet and then you would live happily ever after. We have the expectation of our own prince charming rescuing us, the damsel in distress. The stories all portray a helpless girl in need of rescuing. We have grown up with an expectation of our lives looking like the fairy tales. But do you know that God’s order is opposite of the fairy tales? Adam came first and because he was alone God said Adam a needed a helper. God then created Eve, for Adam, it wasn’t the other way around. Interesting… when it’s it’s put that way, hu!
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” Genesis 2:18 NIV
I don’t know about you, but most days I feel like I could really use some help! Do you ever feel that way too? Get this, God did give us (wives) a helper! The same word in the Hebrew for “helper” in the book of Genesis is the word Jesus used to describe the Holy Spirit.
“And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever–the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him, nor knows Him; But you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” John 14:16-17 NKJV
WOW! That is powerful!! By God’s design I am a helper to my husband, and the Holy Spirit is a helper to me.
I am challenged by this lesson in Scripture to ask myself, am I a helper to my husband in the way God designed me to be? Do I rely on the Holy Spirit to be my helper? I have found this simple lesson to be one that can be so hard to practice day by day. But I find that in my submission to God’s will for my marriage and my life, He is so faithful. It is far too easy to get it backwards. We say (or portray in action), “I’ll take the lead, honey. You just do what I say, and everyone will be happy.” This is heart that is seeking to please the flesh, or in other words seeking to please only themselves, not God. I know this heart well because it is a heart I have to crucify (or put to death) daily.
I recently had dessert at Village Inn with a very sweet friend. The Lord kept bringing the scripture into our conversation about the foolish woman who tears down her house with her own hands. Oh, how I can relate to this verse!
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 NIV
If I could point to the most impacting lesson the Lord has taught me in 12 years I’ve been married, it is that only by submitting to His design for my marriage will there be harmony, happiness, and fulfillment. When I fail to obey God’s order for marriage, I must be willing to accept the disharmony and strife that comes with it. Furthermore, I am responsible for only myself, and I answer to God for only ME (not my husband). My actions will be judged alone, not in reflection of my husbands decisions and actions, and I am to be obedient to the Lord whether or not it changes the circumstances of my marriage. Learning to submit to the Lord is not always an easy lesson, but it is rewarding to experience how God blesses obedience to Him.
If I have any readers that are single, I will encourage you to know that you are “building your house,” like that verse talks about, long before you are married. Your choices and decisions to honor God, now, have a lasting impact on your future. Mom’s, teach this to your daughter(s) as you demonstrate to her how to honor the Lord with her choices! Let me also just say how grateful I am for God’s limitless mercy and grace, as my decisions while I was single have not always reflected a heart to please God.
Lord, guard me from being the foolish woman who tears down her house with her own hands. Show me the ways I do this and help me to turn from them. Help me to be an example to my children of a heart that desires to please you so that they may better learn to follow you as they observe my obedience.
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